The current state of our “fruit bowl”: Whole wheat bread, a potato, garlic, walnuts…plus ginger candies, half a dark chocolate bar, and coconut macaroons.
When I was making coffee this morning, I looked over at the fruit bowl on the counter and was suddenly struck by a wave of gratefulness.
In addition to the random collection of a potato, a bulb of garlic, and some whole-wheat bread is an open bag of ginger candies, half a dark mint chocolate bar, and a container of coconut macaroons—all of which have been in there for quite a while.
Why is this such a miracle? Anyone with binge eating problems knows: When I was bingeing, there is no way any of those items would’ve lasted longer than a day in my house. Anything with sugar in it was finished off—quickly and guiltily—followed by a helping of regret and self-loathing.
But foods just don’t have that same kind of power over my attention or mood anymore—and that feels really, really good.
So, I just wanted to share this picture as visual proof to any of you who are where I was: If you keep stepping forward, keep seeking help, reading, getting support, and moving forward with healing, you can be normal about food.
Does anyone else have a hopeful thought or little victory to share? xo…Sunny
This is very reassurring and inspiring. Thank you, Sunny!
I wish I can take a picture like this one day..
You will.
Wondering what it will take for me to get ‘there’ from ‘here’?
I am in the middle of another ‘get rid of all the sugar in the house’ obsession.
Crazy time of year to be doing that to myself and my partner…
Thanks Sunny, for the reminder that being ‘normal’ is possible.
I didn’t believe it completely either, until it happened to me. But I’ve also had to go through periods of time in my recovery where for my own sanity I had to keep certain things out of the house. Know that whatever stage you’re in, it doesn’t have to be forever… Xo sunny
I have a little victory to share…
Yesterday, I was looking at myself in the mirror, and having a little bit of a “state of the union” chat with my body parts, in which I acknowledged the fact that one semester into completely uprooting my life, starting a social work masters program, and working harder than I ever thought possible - I am teetering around near my heaviest weight.
Now, the last time I was this heavy it was because I was binging all the time and submerged in self-hate.
This time?
I kind of just looked at my body and was like, well, what am I, A FREAKING WIZARD? Then I had to laugh. I love knowing that I am more than the numbers on the scale. I love that days can go by and I don’t think about trying to carve off parts of my body or starve myself to get to someone else’s ideal. I love that, right now, whittling myself down is just not a priority.
I’m too busy making little kids more sane, rocking papers in APA format, and learning how to live on my own for the first time in my life. And I’m feeling pretty grateful for that.
Yes! I love it!!
AMAZING! My biggest problem is that I start to feel better so I’ll buy sugary products and other triggers but then I end up binging. I have a mini victory! The other night I stopped the beginning of a binge. I had eaten two english muffins with cheese when I stopped and realized that they didn’t even taste good so why was I eating them. Then I started asking myself if I was even hungry and I wasn’t. So I went a read and went to bed. It felt amazing to go to bed/wake up without feeling bloated and gross.
i needed this. perfect timing Sunny — as always!
I love this post! I had a little victory this past weekend. I was craving something sweet and my roommate offered me some cookies she just bought. In the past, eating something “bad” like a cookie would have completely freaked me out and triggered a binge. But this time, I ate two cookies, enjoyed them, and then stopped and went on with the rest of my day. It’s little victories like this that help me start to feel healthy, strong, and more sane about food.
Thank you for sharing this Sunny - it is always so important to have gratitude about the small victories that are actually huge! You have reminded me to be grateful for my own. I have a similar image in my house - ice cream in the freezer that belongs to my boyfriends kids that has been there for weeks.
My small victory that I am grateful for is saying YES to fries with my meal at a restaurant a few weeks ago and feeling no sense of guilt or using it to set off a binge later on in the evening.
I totally get it! I remember learning that I could have former binge foods around and even forget they were there. It blew my mind. Leaving behind the old ways is hard, but so worth it.
I had a pre-packaged container of six cupcakes left over from a party. I ate one and put the rest in the staff room. The best part of this was……I didn’t even want another. Awhile ago, I would have eaten that entire package and stuffed the evidence way down deep in the garbage. I would have been so depressed that this would have set off a binge for the rest of the day. Not anymore!
Go me!
Yes, go you!!!!
I just put ice cream, cake, syrup and squirty cream into a bowl, preparing for a night of bingeing but ate it with a teaspoon. After about 4 teaspoons i realised I had had enough. Now it is sitting right beside me, and I have no desire to eat it 😀 I have been waiting for the day when this could happen and today it finally has 😀 Keep going everybody
I went on my first diet at 12 and ended up really overweight for the first time! It took me about a million diets to finally learn they don’t work. Now I eat anything I want, but wait until I’m hungry and eat only until I’m satisfied. It works so well - I’ve had similar experiences with the ice cream sundaes, candy bars, etc. as Becky. Currently, I have a Symphony bar sitting in my fridge. I have a couple of squares once or twice a day. Before I would’ve devoured the entire bar in one sitting and gone back for more! It’s awesome to free of food’s power over me!