Ever felt so desperate to stop your bingeing and get thin that you took drugs or diet pills? Yep, so did HealthyGirl.org reader Amanda, 20. When she went to college and joined a sorority, her eating and restricting got out of control. But the good news is, she’s found a way to get better. Here’s her Real Story:
I had always been a healthy kid who played sports and ate right until high school. The trouble began senior year when I decided I wanted to be thinner for college. I began eating 800 calories a day writing down everything and keeping track. I looked great, and my confidence level rose.
I joined a sorority my freshman year and things started to spiral out of control. I couldn’t stick with my 800-calorie a day diet so I began to gain weight. I would buy adderall pills to curb my appetite and not eat for days.
The only days I would eat would be when I didn’t take a pill and then I would binge on huge amounts of food. I tried throwing it up but luckily it never worked for me. I stopped going out because I thought I was too fat and stayed in my room when all my friends would go out for the night.
My binge cycle would start and end with me sitting on the bathroom floor crying trying to make myself throw up. I came home freshman year 100 pounds. Fortunately I could not buy pills that summer so I was forced to eat and exercise daily. I would continue the binge cycle at home and wait for my parents to go to bed when I would raid the pantry. I tried to restrict my diet but I was lost without the appetite suppressant.
I went back to college sophomore year and moved into my sorority house. If I thought things couldn’t get any worse I was wrong. Living with a bunch of girls was hell on earth for me and I found myself rummaging through the kitchen whenever I was alone. I ended up gaining a total of 40 pounds. I lost all my friends since I stopped going out at night and food, it seemed, was my only friend. I eventually made my way over to campus health and started to go to a food group where girls could talk about their problems. I saw a nutritionist and therapist and tried to get back in the right mindset. I eventually did, and lost majority of the weight through diet and exercise and now I am a recovering binge eater.
I am back at school for my junior year, and still have days when stress makes me want to run to the kitchen and eat everything in sight, but I remember all the work I put in to get back to where I am and I do not want it to go to waste. I know I ate when I was upset, stressed, when I didn’t think I was pretty enough, or a guy didn’t call me back and now I realize how much I was hurting myself in the process. Now that I am aware of these triggers I can take myself out of the situation and do something more productive rather than hurt myself because it won’t make things better. —Amanda, 20
Have you ever taken pills to control your eating? What happened? And please tell me you don’t anymore!