If you struggle with overeating, bingeing, yo-yo dieting, or bad body image, you are not alone! These are the stories of women like you who are dealing with, or are recovered from, eating issues. Read and relate.
- Sunny’s story
- Margarita’s story
- Tamara’s story
- Maggie’s Story
- Amanda’s Story
- Erica’s Story
- Aria’s Story
- Samantha’s Story
- Polona’s Story
- Lacy’s Story (pregnancy and relapse)
Submit your Real Story via email or scroll down to leave a comment.
I have had Anorexia Nervosa for two years, every day encouraging girls to love themselves and their bodies. I never thought i’d be the one to get an eating disorder. But each day i battle on through. And at the end of the day, A THOUGHT IS NOT A FACT.
There is beauty in very aspect of life, it’s just whether or not we’re ready to act upon it.
X
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Hello Sunny!
I’ve followed your story, and was an avid reader of Margarita’s blog on Glamour.com (I’m thickthighs), and I’m so happy to have found this blog. I’d like to contribute a piece, and my reasons are two-fold: primarily, I’m an emotional eater/compulsive overeater. I’m also one of six individuals chosen by CNN to train for and complete the Nautica New York City Marathon as a part of CNN’s Fit Nation. I was chosen because the producers thought I could motivate a number of women to make a similar commitment to getting fit. I think I can, too, but I’m struggling with emotional eating. The training’s going fine. The nutrition plan is not, but I’m determined that this is my year.
I hope you’ll contact me. Thanks.
MC
I know this site states that it’s for “girls & young women” however, as we all know, these issues affect all ages. I’ve had issues w/food & body image problems as far back as I can recall. I also had the misfortune of being raised in a family that was not well suited to a child of that type. In addition, @ the age of 32 I was diagnosed as Bipolar I. Obviously, not a great scenerio :} Now, @ the age of 42 I am slowly beginning to recognize my distinct behavioral issues where food is concerned. Everything does overlap, but the binging does have it’s own very distinct personality. I hope that in the process of sharing my experiences I’ll be able to make someone else feel better &, on the flip side, as I read everyone else’s posts, I’ll be gaining many new perspectives. Thanking everyone in advance!!
[…] and alone. Thanks to the many women who’ve shared their stories here on Weightless and other blogs and websites, I know that I’m not the only one who’s struggled with these issues. […]
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Back when I was in college, studying for my Masters (2002) in counseling, I wrote a paper on BED. In 2005, while doing some individual research work (yep, Im a big research nerd), I had this “ah-ha” moment… Im a binge eater. Now, I have struggled with my weight for many many years, but even though I was always just a bit overweight, I was still healthy, active. etc. And It wasnt until 2005, after the birth of my 2nd child that things went downhill for me. In 2005, I gave birth to my 2nd daughter. She was born 2 months prematurely due to placental abruption. It was a horrific experience. It was then that I was diagnosed with post partum depression and post traumatic stress disorder. My weight went up and up and up. Kept going up and has continued to go up . Also, in 2005, just months after she was born, I became extremely ill.. constant nausea, abdominal pain, etc. It was some sort of mystery illness. but with each new doctor I saw, they prescribed more meds, changed meds, did this, that and the other. I have had so many surgeries since then that I have had 1 or 2 a year. They have removed organs, scar tissue, explored, etc. And the latest diagnosis is IBS. Anyways, over the course of these years, I began binge eating. I would eat my normal 3 meals a day. I ate snacks when the kids did, I ate what they didnt finish on their plates (after all, who likes to waste food when so many out there are hungry?), I ate in between these meals and snacks. I ate while cooking. I ate while doing dishes. I have a secret stash of food (mainly sweets-chocolate, and salty crunchy snacks). I eat when Im out of the house. I eat when no one’s looking, especially my husband. And then when I notice Im gaining more weight, I get depressed, angry with myself and guess what I do? I eat some more. I feel guilty when I do all this other eating and sneaking and guess what? eat some more. I havent worn shorts in 7 years.. and want to..and it does get hot here in alabama, 6 months out of the year to be exact. My kids want to go to the beach. But I have this horrible fear of the beach. Back about 4 years ago, we went to the beach , took the kids and a picnic lunch. We all had on shorts and tee shirts. No bathing suits as we had not planned on taking the kids in to the water. But as we were walking on the beach, 4 girls/ladies were laying there on their towels, music playing, each smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer, loudly and rudely says as we walk by, “OMG, look how fat she is”. and one woman says to the rest “if i ever get that big, i want you to shoot me”. “she should be ashamed of herself” “she is super fat” my 3 year old, who doesnt forget anything, talks about that time, each time the beach is mentioned. She tells me when other people say that her mommy is fat. And I am fat. Im severely fat. Im 299 lbs at the present time. but was up to 315 , my highest weight. I need to exercise. And I am active. I do go for walks. I do clean the house, do yard work, play with the kids. Im not considered a lazy person (as most people think when they see an obese person, that’s the first thing that pops in to their head, LAZY). I could go on and on and on., but Im sure you got the picture . BED is a serious disorder. I think that it is linked to obesity. I think that Obesity should be classified in the DSM-IV with all the other eating disorders. Alcohol included. After all drug and alcoholism is listed and they are addictions. Obesity is an addiction to food. I am glad I found this website and Sunny’s blog. Today is the 1st day of the rest of my life. Today, I fight back. Today, I take back control of my life and my eating habits. And today, I learn to love myself more, stop putting myself down, and live .
i wish u achieve ur goal. jus keep moving
I just discovered this website and I think it is fantastic. I just wanted to say to every girl who is reading this you can and will get to a stage where you can eat and not feel overwhelmingly guilty if you want it enough and seek the right help. A stage where you eat in moderation, when you feel like it and don’t agonise over treating yourself once in a while.
I have not suffered anywhere close to what a lot of the ladies in the stories on here have gone through but I have been guilting myself into starving myself thin for most of my adult life.
I think one of the biggest keys to happiness is learning to appreciate things about yourself, to start exercising and eating what is good for your body (i.e. enough protein, enough monosaturated fats, enough carbohydrate) rather than what is good for losing weight. Weirdly enough I have lost weight now I have begun to eat the right amounts of food because my body has stopped hanging onto everything I put into it. I have the energy to exercise and enjoy my life and I don’t have to think about food or lack of it every day all day. I would also recommend buying a load of lads magazines (weirdly enough!) the girls in there are not bones with no curves. Men like women with some meat on them and it helps me to be reminded that if I achieved my goal of bones my boyfriend would have been pretty upset.
I guess all I really wanted to say in this message is don’t give up, you have to take control of it yourself, find help, talk to other people, you will find the strength inside you.
Emily.
Were were VERY strict eaters as kids. No pop, no sugary cereal, only one sweet thing a day, lots of fruits and veggies. So when I had the opportunity I would eat as much and as fast as I could! Especially sweets. And still to this day I eat as much and as fast as I can. I especially do it alone. And I make sure I hide all the evidence.
My mom did this because she was obese. She wanted the best for us kids and she did try. She died of Ovarian Cancer at 43. Another reason to hide feelings of hurt. My parents were divorced. Dad chose alcohol and women over me.I never did feel good enough, pretty enough! I had a baby and got post-partum depression. I thought you were supposed to be happy, not sad over the birth of a child! I lost my baby brother in a terrible car/semi accident and once again it got worse.
When I read the article the other day in the magazine so many of those things I related to and it felt so good to not feel alone. Gonna order this book. Thanks for making this known!
Just found your site/book via BoingBoing. Can’t wait to read it. FYI, men suffer from this disease too.
Hi John,
Yes, you are SO right. About 1 out of every four eating disorder cases of any kind are actually in men. I’m actually toying with the idea of starting a HealthyGuy.org site. Let me know if you’re interested in discussing more. Sunny
Love the new layout of the website Sunny. Finally ordering your book. I always come back to this site when I need it the most.
Hi Rachael! Email me your address-I owe you a copy for being interviewed! xo…Sunny
i have a binge eating disorder. the way i feel is lyrics from a song. they are : “Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can’t take the person starin’ back at me
I’m a hazard to myself
Don’t let me get me
I’m my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don’t wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else “
Wow, all that I can say right now is thank you.
I don’t know how I haven’t come across your blog before, but even after just reading a few articles I feel like somebody has wrapped their arms around me and told me it will be alright.
I am a “binge eater” (yuk) .
I have always resorted to weight loss blogs before to try to stop myself damaging my body with food, but something in the back of my mind has told me that I need to get healthy in body and mind, rather than simply lose weight.
I have managed to overcome a hatred and fear of food after a crash diet, but struggled with the reality of regaining my weight, which developed into bingeing and making myself sick. I have managed to stop the sickness part, but often feel unable to cope with life without comfort eating, making me binge reguarly.
Your blog has given me support which i do not get from friends and family, as this is a secret struggle for fear of being thought of as dramatic or an attention seeker. Thank you so much and I will be getting a copy of your book as soon as i figure out how to get it delivered without my parents seeing it first! Thank you x
Let me just say that when I found your book I knew right away it was something I wanted to read. My reason was the title, I am a binge eater as well and also struggling with Bulimia. I feel like food is my drug and I have no power against it. This has been going on for about 17 years (I’m 36) and there have been times within this period where I am okay and the addiction is not as bad but I’m not sure how that happens and what happens when I am binging again.. This is something my husband does know about but thinks that I really don’t have a problem anymore. I am not over weight and I do workout regularly but I just wish I did not have this intense urge to eat so much. I have not gotten help, mostly because I am embarrased and ashamed, also I really worry about what others think and I am afraid of the reactions. I’m about half way thur the book and I can not wait to read the rest. Thank you Sunny for letting those of us feel that we are not alone.
I couldn’t be happier to finally find a website where I can read inspiring stories from girls just like me. I may be a few years younger than most of the girls on this site, but I understand exactly what it’s like to feel unhealthy, ugly…..fat. My whole life I’ve only had friends with perfectly toned arms and legs that flexed, instead of jiggled, when they walk. My bingeing started at age 12 and carried on to high school, where I began sticking my fingers down my throat. I guess it was an attempt to feel something. When I first heard about this website, via Glamour Magazine, I thought it would be a bunch of girls sharing meaningless stories to try to get attention that they weren’t getting from friends of family. But I was absolutely wrong! I love every single woman visiting this site because, whether I’ve met them or not, we share a common issue….we hate or hated our bodies. Knowing that these are real women with real problems helps me know that there’s hope for me. Thank you Sunny for creating a safe place for me to let out my problems and ask as many “weird” questions as I want. I’ve been inspired to get healthy all because of you!
I love you, Sunny!
XOXOXO
I’m half way through the book. As I read it during a long car ride, my husband asked why I was so feverishly circling things and writing notes in the book. I said that every time I read something that rings true to me, I circle it and write some notes to help me later. Well, the book is really marked up! It has really helped me understand some of the MANY reasons why I binge eat and why it is so difficult to resist. I’m working on using the tools as often as possible, but it continues to be a challenge.
I always considered myself “overweight,” or “chubby,” or even “fat.” But in reality, my weight always fell into the healthy weight spectrum for my height. It was never good enough for me though, because I didn’t look like the models. But I loved food too much to change anything, and I despised exercise. And I loved the wrong kinds of foods, and the larger the amount the better. That is, until I got sick. It struck my senior year of high school, and to this day, almost three years later, we (“we” meaning my parents and I) still have no idea what caused it. All of a sudden, I just couldn’t keep food down. I was involuntarily throwing up, about once or twice every two weeks, sometimes more frequently. It didn’t matter if the food was spicy, or greasy, or dry, or healthy…if it didn’t sit right that day, it was coming back up. And I couldn’t do anything about it. If I wasn’t throwing up, or feeling nauseous, my portion sizes were cut in half; I ate way less than I ever had before, I got full much faster and was able to say no to the rest of the food on my plate. And with a busy senior year schedule, I only ate about once, maybe twice, a day. The weight fell off faster than I could count how much I was losing. And to be honest, I loved it. My “sickness” wasn’t debilitating, I could still go on with my daily life, and it had, in my opinion, some pretty “awesome” consequences. I dropped from a size 6-8 to a size 0-2. And I never felt better, self-esteem wise. But then as fast as it came on, it started to fix itself. And that’s when an insane amount of self-control took over. I could have all of my favorite foods set out in front of me and be able to talk myself into not wanting any of them, for fear of gaining any weight back that I had lost. But like intense restriction will do, I got burnt out. And when I wasn’t sick health-wise anymore, and had lost some self-control, I became sick mind-wise…and an eating disorder developed. I would eat as little as I could possibly go on for the day, and if I slipped and ate “too much,” I’d throw up. If I didn’t throw up, I’d eat barely anything the next day. When I got really into it, and got scared, I told my best friend, who threatened to tell my mother if I didn’t. And so the eating disorder began to be resolved. So here I was, 5’6″ and 122 pounds (and wanting to lose four more pounds, by the way,) scared at the road ahead of me…I was terrified of gaining weight back. The thought of being back at the weight I was before I got sick was unimaginable, it would actually drive me to the point of getting very anxious about it. And then the bottom dropped out of my life. My parents split up, my best friend and I stopped speaking altogether, my mom started dating, I was stressed in my job, and had taken a year off of school and just felt “lost” and I started using food to deal. What was once my worst enemy had become my best friend and I was eating an insane amount all the time, and at times I didn’t even know why I was eating. And the weight started piling on. And that only made the depression, and therefore the eating, worse. And here I sit at 5’6″ and almost 150 pounds miserable and ready for a change. I am just now accepting that I’m a binge-eater, because I’m just now finding out about the disorder. I read your article in Women’s Day Magazine, bought the book a day later, and am ready for a change.
This book changed my life! I was trying to adjust to my new life after a divorce…I was heartbroken and my relationship with food was always difficult! After the breakup, I lost a lot of weight and I was feeling very good, so good that I began to eat and eat…I didn’t realized that I was eating to avoid to deal with the reality, my NEW reality! I was sad, so sad, my clothes doesn’t fit me and I knew that what I did was not normal! I can totally related to almost of all of the stories in this book, I’m not feeling alone anymore
Sunny gave me something to think about,it was so powerful, I cannot put the book down…since a month, I’m in recovery and now, before eating something, I go back to the book and thinking very hard *why I’m am eating this or that??? Thanks Sunny! Isabelle xo
*sorry for my english, I’m a french girl from Montréal, Canada
I have terrible thyroid problems… Hypothyroidism, meaning basically that I gain weight super easily. My disease, I recently found out is worse than we thought. However common it is, my thyroid doesn’t work at ALL, so I gain weight rapidly. I’ve been disgusted with my body for a long time and have serious anxiety issues. The thyroidism is genetic but it was ignored for so long and no one else has it as badly as I do. I’m only 16 and I have to hold secrets for my dad, like who he is dating and stuff. it’s really messed me up. When I finally told my mom, we started going to therapy but I’m not sure how it’s working quite yet… I continue to gain weight and binge eat. I continue to hate myself. I do also have BED, Binge Eating Disorder. Having both Hypothyroidism and BED is very harsh on my body, and I know I’m not the only female struggling with both. My New Year’s resolution is of course to lose the weight. Despite the fact that I binged this morning (first day of the new year) and my thyroid’s inactivity makes it extremely difficult to lose weight, it’s all I can focus on. This year in school is the first time since 6th grade that I’ve been called names because of my weight and i can only cry about it. The exersize I do won’t help until my medicine is set and right, and I continue to have anxiety issues that are worsening. But I will get through it and I will get help. Just coming on a website like this or reading a teen vogue article can help. So, to those girls out there with issues like mine, don’t ever say you can’t because there is no such thing if you really think about it. Email me if you want more advice or info, because I’m pretty far in the process of recovery.
Hi, my name’s Alicia, I’ve been anorexic since I was six and now at seventeen I’m currently at my lowest weight yet but to me there’s still so much left to lose. I cut myself to cope and nothing really fits me because of how ‘skinny’ I have gotten-it’s always fat to me though! I feel as though I don’t deserve life, I don’t deserve joy…all I deserve is pain. I devoted my life to helping other people with problems so I can use it to mask my own severe depression and anorexia but I’m afraid it’s becoming more obvious that something’s not quite right. I deny the fact that I don’t eat and do anything in my power to work out as much as I can. I drilled it into my mind that food is a terrible thing that really shouldn’t exist.
I grew up in my elder brothers haggard, Androgynous and highly, stunningly beautiful shadow. On the surface he was gorgeous but on the inside he was secretly battling bulimia and schizophrenia. Voices in his head would tell him things like he was an alien, food was toxic, humans were demons and they would ‘force’ him to binge until he was in extreme pain and then later they would make him ‘sacrafice’ by purging. With a voice quite like Pink’s and a lot of talent he was nearly always the centre of attention with me tagging along behind him tense with worry. I lost him a year ago and since then it’s been me alone. People I know say I remind them of him but I feel so fat.
Thoughts of suicide tear my sanity to shreds and I pulled myself away from everyone. I belive hungry is strong, I’m strong when I’m hungry…when I’m full I’m disgusting. I never really eat unless my mum forcefeeds me and then stands over me. Enough is never enough and despite the constant comments I get about how much weight I have lost….I don’t ever want to stop. ‘Cause empty is light, free and beautiful….
———-this is incase anyone feels they ever need my help in anything!
Deuces!