You guys know that I’ve been struggling a bit to get back into my usual balanced lifestyle, and that I haven’t felt like I’ve had enough time of late to really take the best care of myself that I can. (Both possibly dangerous things for someone with a history of binge eating!)
This weekend John was out of town and after I got back from having an amazing lunch with friends, I found myself sort of staring at the wall. I didn’t have any further plans, and blank time stretching out before me is always kind of anxiety-inducing. So I decided to do a quick guided meditation and see if I could clear my head and relax a bit.
I did a meditation that sort of encourages you to visualize your inner child, try to sense what she’s feeling—and then actually “ask” her what she needs. The whole inner child thing feels slightly woo-woo for my usual taste, but I’ve done this particular meditation before and was amazed at the insights I gained. That time, the child screamed at me that she needed “SLEEP!” and “PILATES!”
This time? She felt abandoned. It wasn’t just that John was out of town—it was as if I’d abandoned her. All week long as I kept my head down and my nose to the grindstone, I’d ignored that part of myself that requires tenderness and care to feel secure and balanced. It was sort of a revelation. I’d abandoned myself!
So, after the meditation, I decided to make a list of things that would make me feel taken care of that day. Turns out it was organizational stuff like folding the laundry, doing the dishes, planning and cooking a healthy dinner for myself. Tying up loose ends. I wasn’t necessarily excited to do these things, but as I started doing them, it felt great. And I truly did feel taken care of. Thanks, me! I did the same thing the next morning and what I needed that day was to go to the gym (I’d been feeling weirdly scared of the gym—more on that tomorrow or the next day), spend some time working in the sun in the park, and see a movie. (I saw Eclipse! Perfect time to do it, since there’s NO way I could ever drag John to see it.)
But here’s the thing: Weekends cannot be the only time I take care of myself—or that sometimes-needy little inner child. To stay sane—in general, but also about food and our bodies—every one of us needs to do something to take care of ourselves every single day.
What can you do TODAY to make yourself feel taken care of? xo…Sunny