Today we have a guest post from a lovely young woman named Lauren. She asks an interesting question…I’ll answer in the comments. Hope you do too. The bigger this conversation gets, the more people we help, ladies. xo…Sunny
What was your defining moment with food?
After years of wanting to do something about eating right, I hit a breakthrough—or so I thought. I found Sunny’s old blog on glamour.com a few years ago, which led me to sign up for the Body By Glamour shape-up plan that she was doing. I was determined to finally, once and for all, change the way I lived my life!
Months of counting calories in the online food journal kept me in an honest relationship about what I put in my body. The exercise routines allowed me to break a sweat five times a week and discover my passion for running. Even after I bid farewell to BBG and was independent in my new lifestyle changes, I wasn’t just doing well, I was doing fantastic. I thought of myself as a model success story when I hit my one-year mark of eating right and doing fitness while even continuing to lose pounds.
Then, one night, I was waiting for the subway home, stressed from not eating all day. Everything apart from food had been erased from my brain. I rushed off the train and sped to my apartment like a charging bull. I remember making a turkey sandwich, eating an apple and then my memory leaves me.
What I saw afterward told a sad story. Boxes full of 100-calorie packs, gone; bread and deli assortments, gone; several frozen dinner meals, gone. I saw a Duane Reade bag with a receipt lying on the counter: bag of Reese’s Cups, gone. I saw blood mixed with my vomit sitting in the toilet. I felt like someone had beaten my throat and body with ten bats at one time. I napped the rest of the day and woke up the next morning to shamefully clean up the trash from the previous day’s binge. This wasn’t the first time this had happened in my life. I fell to my knees on my kitchen floor crying.
It has been over two years since my relapse in my apartment and I can truly say it was my defining moment with food. I learned that my “year of success” was filled with too strict of eating and over-exercising. My body was weak but more importantly, it was hungry.
I don’t think I can say I’ll ever be fully recovered; relapses can happen in the most surprising of moments. I can, however, continue to eat healthy, fill my body with enough food, and give my body rest from the gym when it needs it.
Whenever I feel myself thinking about food in a way that I know for myself is unhealthy, I always remember that night. As horrifying as it was, it serves as my motivator that I never want to get to that place again, and I’m pretty darn confident I won’t.
What about you? Have you had a defining moment with food? —Lauren